“You thought it was your people. I thought it was mine. The difference is, I was right.”
– Seventy-One Hour Ahmed, Terry Pratchett, Jingo
The Christian bloggers writing about marriage are starting to intrigue me. After my initial discovery of some outstandingly written blogs, I have dived into the Christian manosphere, where I have made a fascinating discovery. I was reading through Dalrock’s archive last night when I encountered this scathing commentary on Fireproof. While not directly relevant to the ideas I have, it is interesting to see how willing Dalrock is to take apart the idea that a man should serve his wife. I don’t disagree that in Fireproof, whatshername is largely (maybe even mostly) at fault for the disintegrating marriage, but it does have a few concepts right. Loving your wife unconditionally is a Biblically sound concept. I say this as an unmarried man, of course, but ideally, you would love her even in the cases of infidelity and emotional abuse. Men, we are ORDERED to love our wives. Ephesians 5 doesn’t say “Husbands, love your wives as long as they respect you.” Sometimes I feel like men (but honestly, as far as Christian bloggers go, mostly women) are disregarding this fact. That is where the real point of this post comes in. The easiest way to predict the sex of a modern Christian author on marriage is to see who they blame for the current failure of the system. Men tend to blame men, women tend to blame women.
The current crisis of marriage does NOT fall at either sexes feet, but at both. And I mean ‘feet’ in a very Old Testament sense (not funny if you didn’t already see the implication, so don’t bother looking it up. Unless you’re curious). Women who have taken the red pill (yes, Roissy, they exist) see that feminism has defeminized women (not masculinized, actually. Later article in that topic, I think), and blame that particular phenomenon for the crisis. Men who have taken the red pill (AND who are Christians, or at least firm believers in traditional marriage. Very important addendum, that.) tend to see the generation of Halo playing, beer swilling couch potatoes as the problem. Guess what; it cuts both ways. Men behaving in an old fashioned manner is simply BETTER than the way they behave now. The same goes for women. Ephesians 5 (years of marriage counseling in a nutshell, if you ask me) makes two separate, unconditional statements. Wives, respect your husbands. Husbands, love your wives. Neither of them says ‘if’ anything. Just do it. In my experience (okay, so it isn’t first hand. That doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m looking at when I see the marriages of my friends imploding or on the rocks), the two follow out of each other, but if they aren’t habitually ingrained in you from a very young age, ONE of you (and it almost doesn’t matter which) needs to take the initiative in acting right.