It sometimes feels like there isn’t any point in fighting anymore. I specifically here refer to the ongoing gender war. The vitriol and anger spewed by both sides is getting out of hand. Before continuing, however, I wish to state that I still think that feminism is out of hand, and that men’s (more specifically, husbands’ and fathers’) rights are being trampled on in society and court. Single guys are making out okay, though.
I finally got around to reading the DV debate at A Voice for Men, despite first having heard about it almost a year ago. Give me a break; there are literally millions of relevant words to read on both sides of any issue that could potentially be a bone of contention between the sexes, much less a hot-button topic like domestic violence. I was struck by something that has been bugging me more and more, and has finally led me to throw my hands up in disgust at everyone involved. David Futrelle employed classic feminist simpering male turncoat language, trying to keep the debate moving from point to point without ever resolving anything except how one should feel about things, arguing by assertion, and always stopping just shy of the ad-hominem attack. Paul Elam wasn’t much better. Naturally, I tend to side with his logic, but his sarcastic delivery and snide insults were unnecessary (yes, yes, the Frog is a hypocrite. I don’t insult people during debates, only behind their backs). I’m not going to waste time dissecting the argument point by point; it should be obvious which side I find persuasive, and this is such a polarizing issue that you are in one of four possible positions, any of which is immune to any attempt by me to alter it: 1) you believe that domestic violence is a problem, regardless of injury, initiator, target, or reason, 2) You believe that domestic violence is a problem that is solely caused by men, usually towards women, and there is no such thing as a good reason, 3) You believe that domestic violence is only a problem when committed by men, but women do it too, or 4) You believe that the domestic violence problem doesn’t exist. I think that everyone can agree that 4 is reprehensible (mostly because I made it up; I rather doubt that anyone genuinely believes that), but the other three will have people at each others’ throats in a moment. That saddens me, because the home should be, if anywhere is, a safe haven for both people. Men hitting their wives is no less (also no more) reprehensible than women cuckolding or verbally abusing their husbands. (Switch sexes as appropriate) Why can’t we all (feminists, MRAs, etc…) agree on that?
Okay, call me a cockeyed optimist, I know. Humanity is way too centered in the self, and terrified of the other to do that. It is still a pretty picture, don’t you think?