I had the good fortune to have both my father and my brother around for this last holiday season. It was wonderful seeing my brother in particular, since he lives on the other side of the country, and we are very close emotionally. However, I had an interesting discovery, and one that saddens me somewhat. He was divorced earlier this year, but he still hasn’t even looked at the red pill. He doesn’t even acknowledge that there is a systemic societal problem, other than a lack of manliness. While he’s right about the fact that the majority of the men out there these days are little more than puling manginas, he’s wrong to place all the blame squarely on the shoulders of men. There is plenty of blame to go around.
I realized that he and I were never going to see eye to eye on this, so I ended the discussion, but I continued to think about it. The real revelation came when I brought the subject up with my dad. My dad is a gentleman of the old school, raised on a farm, but exquisitely courteous and well mannered, and always correct in his dealings with women. And he completely agreed with my brother. They both lambasted me for sympathizing with men who choose to withdraw from the divorce machine to play Call of Duty, drink beer, and wank to whatever porn strikes their fancy. That was when the really sad realization hit. They are both men who pride themselves on their masculinity, and to accept that this sea change in society happened at the behest of feminists, for the sake of the female hamster, is completely alien to them. Women are still supposed to be submissive, gentle and feminine. If women aren’t acting like women should, well, it is because men aren’t manning up and acting like men should.
I cited statistics on divorce initiation and reasons given for divorce (you all know them, and if you don’t, read some other blog. This is about introspection, not persuasion. Any MRA/PUA/etc. blog will have them somewhere.) My brother discounted them through some rather interesting mental sleight of hand. I gave examples of frivolous divorce, and challenged them to cite one legitimate well known divorce for every three hamster driven divorces I could. They invoked the shibboleth of “You never know what the marriage was actually like unless you’re in it”, even pointing out the fact that since they both had been married, and I hadn’t, they understood better than I did how bad a bad marriage could get (true, but irrelevant. See the statistics.) Nothing I said even began to scratch the surface of their serene conviction that men were to blame for the failure of marriage. And then I had the saddest realization of all. It is BECAUSE they are masculine. A masculine man accepts responsibility. It is part of masculinity; a willingness to shield others from blame. And because their masculine natures prohibited them from blaming women (especially given the admittedly glaring flaws in today’s men), all of the blame must belong to men. The flaws just make it so much easier.
If and when I marry, I intend to raise my sons as masculine men. With that, I have to accept the risk that they will take the blue pill and be complicit in the continued war on marriage, because a masculine man accepts responsibility for his own actions, and by extension (since he is masculine, and knows how to be manly), those of his sex. The feminists are winning the war on marriage not because of treacherous male collaborators and whining Jezebel posters, but because of genuinely manly, masculine men. And those manly, masculine men will either find one of those increasingly rare women who understands just what the word ‘promise’ means, or they won’t. And if they don’t, they will pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and try again until they do. Because a masculine man does not accept failure.
Just to add poignancy to the whole thing, the real losers aren’t the feminist elite or their limp-wristed male turncoats, or even the very few mensch out there. The real losers are the young women who buy into the lie, take the blue pill, and divorce those increasingly rare masculine men, because they were bored, or they fell out of love, or some other idiotic reason. Or even worse, the young women who spend their twenties acting the way their friends do, and find themselves alone in their mid thirties, desperate for a husband, but spending more and more time looking at that nice tabby at the pet store. The feminists and the sympathy belly-wearing quislings don’t actually hurt the real men; real men aren’t that vulnerable to something that petty. They hurt the women who have the potential to be real women.